Buying a Car I Could Not Drive Taught Me the Value of Stepping Out on Faith

“This is about getting mighty clear about what makes you happy and what makes you feel the most alive, and then creating it instead of pretending you can’t have it. Or that you don’t deserve it. Or that you’re a greedy egomaniacal fathead for wanting more than you already have. Or listening to what Dad and Aunt Mary think you should be doing.”

You are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life Jen Sincero

I learned valuable lessons through my first car buying experience. The most important lesson was the value of stepping out on faith. That is probably the reason the quote at the beginning of this blog resonates with me. Social workers have many skills, abilities, and interests; however, as professionals, we allow the status quo to determine how we impact our communities. Perhaps stepping away from the norm and pursuing what causes us to experience professional satisfaction will limit burnout, pre-mature attrition or career dissatisfaction.

A college friend who mentored me, once said that a person had to know how to drive a “stick shift” in order to be considered a good driver. I considered that as a challenge. I didn’t know anyone who owned a car with a manual transmission, so I bought one. My family expected me to purchase a car with an automatic transmission; everyone in the family owned one.

Every time I have stepped out on faith, things have worked out for me. Maybe it is because I become focused, I work hard and I am determined to succeed. Maybe it is because of favor.

I bought a 1984 Toyota Tercel with a manual transmission. It had a “stick shift” and a clutch. With a manual transmission, the driver changes gears manually. It takes coordination to accomplish the shift successfully. First, the gear box is disengaged by pressing the clutch pedal with the left foot. The clutch is generally to the left of the brake pedal. At the same time, the driver releases the gas pedal causing the engine to slow slightly. These two actions must be completed simultaneously. Once the clutch is pressed and the gas pedal is released, the gear is changed using the “stick shift.” After the gear is changed, the clutch is released while an equal amount of pressure is applied to the gas pedal. Too much or too little pressure will cause the car to stall or choke. Sometimes the car convulses before cutting off threatening the passengers with whiplash.

I chose the car and applied for a loan through the dealership. The salesman called and said that I had to have a co-signer for them to approve the loan. My father agreed to co-sign; my parents always maintained excellent credit. They also always supported most of my decisions.

We went to the dealership on Saturday morning to sign the papers and to pick up the car. The salesman greeted us and seated us at his table. He told us that the businessperson was working with another customer and would be with us soon. We waited for about 30 minutes before the salesman returned. He told us that the businessperson would finish soon and asked if I had any questions. I smiled and asked, “Yes, how do you drive a stick?”

The salesperson’s expression changed from cordial to panic. He responded by asking “how long has it been since you drove a manual transmission?” He looked at my father, who just shrugged his shoulders. He then looked at my mother, who stared at him as if daring him to say anything negative about her precious 20-something daughter. I responded by saying “I have never driven one.”

The panicked look was more pronounced. He cautioned, “Wait, right here, I’ll be right back!”

I researched and read articles on how to drive vehicles with manual transmissions. Although I had never driven one, I figured it could not be that difficult. The salesman seemed panicked, but I felt cool, calm and convinced my decision was right for me. He returned with keys in his hand and said, “come with me.” He took me to a huge, vacant parking lot down the street to give me a quick driving lesson. He made me drive it back to the dealership. When we returned, the businessperson was available. My father and I signed the paperwork and I owned a car I could not drive.

We lived 10 minutes from the dealership, and it took me 45 minutes to get home. I spent 20 minutes trying to get out of the gas station after my father filled up my gas tank. By the time I got home, I was exhausted and wondering how I could have been such an idiot. The next challenge was to back the car into the driveway. We always backed into our cars into the driveway. The car cut off repeatedly and it jerked back and forth. I remember beating the steering wheel before recalling that it was my new car. I finally backed in after gunning the engine and being jerked around by the uneven gear change.

I did not move the car the entire weekend. I was too embarrassed to let people see me fumbling with the car. I also suddenly became fearful that I would never learn to drive it. I continued to ride the bus to work. I admired the car and practiced changing gears in my mind. By mid-week, however, my fears started subsiding and I became curious. I wanted to drive. One evening after work, I decided to drive my car. I drove through a different neighborhood to limit embarrassment and harassment from my friends and neighbors. I got lots of practice starting, stopping and changing gears. The car cut off on me a lot.

On one occasion, I stopped at a stop sign and could not get going because the car kept cutting off. Cars lined up behind me. Although I waved them on, the drivers showed their displeasure with the momentary inconvenience. Some yelled nasty things, some just stared. Many blew their horns. I felt frustrated and discouraged until one driver pulled up and stopped. She leaned forward and looked at me smiling. She gave me a mini lesson on the spot. Before driving off, she said “don’t worry, you’ll get it! Keep trying!”

I believed that stranger knew how upset I felt at that very moment. Driving a manual transmission represented more to me than being considered a good driver. I wanted to exercise the freedom to make my own decisions about what made me happy and satisfied. I also needed to have the ability to create my own way even if it was different than others’ expectations.

I learned to drive that car and eventually taught my older brother to drive cars with manual transmissions, too. Now I use these and other lessons as I work with and mentor Social Workers who want more from their careers via their own side hustle. You may want to know how you can use your experiences to make a difference in others’ lives too. If so, I suggest you Start Here.

Marcyline Bailey, ACSW, LCSW is the author of Five Smart Questions Social Workers Should Ask if They Want to Boost Their Social Work Income e-book Starter Guide and Planner. These free downloads contain five strategic questions to consider before taking on a side hustle. You may also want to view Side Hustle Success as a Full Time Social Worker one of the webinars in the Side Hustle Social Worker Webinar Series.

“I work with social workers and hard working professionals who want to be happy. I would love to hear from you.” You may join the conversation by commenting on this post or on our Facebook fan page REAL Social Workers Online Magazine or connecting with me on LinkedIn.