How Working Women with Children or Aging Parents Can Avoid Burnout

A Word about Irrigation Wells

Shallow irrigation wells are prevalent in the area in which I live. Homeowners install irrigation systems and draw water from the wells to water their grass every day. A shallow irrigation well provides a cost-effective way to water a lawn and garden. It saves the homeowner time because he or she does not have to stand for extended periods of time holding a hose. It also saves the cost of using municipal water.

Occasionally shallow irrigation wells dry up. There is no more water in that part of the ground. The well becomes unusable and cannot provide the necessary water for the lawn or garden. The homeowner must dig a new well in a different spot to fix the problem.

Candles for Example

Look at a candle. A candle is made up of a string wick that goes through the center. Wax surrounds the wick. The wax provides the fuel that along with oxygen causes the candle to give off light and heat. Candles burn by combustion. When lit, the wick conducts heat down to the wax or fuel source. Oxygen is drawn in at the base of the flame. Water vapor and carbon dioxide are released. A flame results.

At some point all the wax will vaporize, and the wick will burn up on a candle that has a long burning flame. When the flame burns out, the candle no longer produces light and heat. Removing the fuel source or oxygen will extinguish the flame. Both examples illustrate what happens when a fuel source is used up.

Then there is Burnout

Burnout is the result of chronic, overwhelming stress. When burnout is reached, a person feels used up. They have no more energy to put towards thinking, moving, or caring. The condition is characterized by extreme mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion. Individuals feel depleted. They have so little energy that getting out of bed takes major effort.

Many working women overlook the signs of burnout. This is especially true of women who have responsibility for children or aging parents. We forget that we are not “super” in the sense of having unlimited power. Our energy sources are limited. Life requires that we replenish our energy.

“Health is replenishing the energy we need to fully function physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually”

Marcyline L. Bailey

Stress awareness provides a path to prevent burnout. There are two primary components of stress awareness. I will explain them below.

Understand How Stress Works

First, stress awareness begins by understanding how stress works. Stress refers to the stress response. The stress response is a physical reaction to a change or to an unspecified stimulus. We often call it the Fight or Flight response. When we sense a change or experience a stimulus, the brain receives the information. Our senses immediately send messages to the amygdala. The amygdala starts the stress response by secreting stress related hormones.

The hormones are secreted until the brain signals “all clear.” At this point, the relaxation response begins. The relaxation response reverses the preparedness of fight or flight. This process initiates repeatedly throughout the day and night. A real, imagined, or perceived threat will trigger the stress response. What you think, feel, or believe will trigger the stress response.

For example, if your telephone rings at 2 AM in the morning, you may startle out of your deep sleep and immediately think that a catastrophe has occurred. The first thought may have been that something has happened to your child who is in college. Your heart pounds hard and beats fast. Because you cannot think clearly, you have trouble finding the phone. Your stomach may churn, and you feel sick. Once you answer the phone, however, you learn that it is a wrong number. At this point, your body begins the process of returning to its natural state. It takes some time, however, to relax enough to fall back asleep.

Understand How You Personally Respond to Stress

The second component of stress awareness is understanding how you personally respond to the stressors in your life. This requires taking a thoughtful look at individual responses and reactions. Burnout happens gradually and the symptoms are sometimes overlooked.

Women who work and have responsibilities for maintaining their households bear tremendous pressures. Financial responsibilities are shared with their partners or spouses. Many must manage on their own. They must be available to meet the physical, emotional. and mental needs of their children. This includes providing clothing, stable housing, and food. It also includes spending quality time with their children to establish a sense of stability, safety, and security.

Working women with aging parents often feel compelled to provide support and assistance to their own parents. This often means they spend time making sure their parents can continue to live independently. A few activities include grocery shopping, preparing meals for the week and setting up daily medications. Some take on the laundering and housecleaning. Others schedule health appointments for their parents and transport them. A few do all the above and more for their aging parents.

About Responsibilities

Individual responsibilities create a certain level of stress. Multiple responsibilities compound the feeling of stress.

Burnout can be prevented by taking the time to become aware of how you personally respond to each of the stressors in your life. Individuals respond differently to stressors based on their own physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual makeup. The brain, however, responds the same regardless of the stimulus or stressor.

Becoming aware of your personal thoughts, feelings and beliefs will allow you to gain the stress awareness you need to avoid burnout.

“I want to be happy, whole, satisfied and successful. What about you?”

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